July Reads

Most of this month's reading was wading through Infinite Jest, but I did take some breaks with a few other books (mostly very short ones), and finished a marriage book that I've been in the thick of for a year and that has been consistently blowing my mind all that time. Behold!

Pulphead - John Jeremiah Sullivan: Really, really excellent collection of essays. Entertaining and vibrant. Can’t wait for more from him.

And the Pursuit of Happiness - Maira Kalman: Kalman is just my absolute favorite. I met her once at the MOMA and I was a dorky mess, and that has nothing to do with this book, but anyway, #celebritysightings. I re-read this book to celebrate Independence Day, because her delightfully meandering observations and illustrations make me feel patriotic. I want to be her.

What the Most Successful People Do On the Weekend - Laura Vanderkam: From the same woman who wrote “I Know How She Does It”, which was an awesome book, comes this guide to making the most out of your weekends. If you like time management stuff, I think you’ll love this. I did (and, bonus, it’s short. I love short books.)

The Crucible of Doubt - Fiona and Terryl Givens: Their book “The God Who Weeps” is one of my absolute FAVORITE discourses on faith and doctrine anywhere. This book is just as perceptive, intelligent and soul-stirring, this time with doubt and struggle as its topic. If you’re a person of faith, even if you’re not of my particular faith, READ THIS.

The Brain in Love - Daniel Amen: Eh. Meh. How brain health affects relationships, particularly romantic ones. It was fine.

Eats, Shoots and Leaves - Lynn Truss: My Gram gave me this book for my birthday one year, and I read it when I miss her. It’s about punctuation and it’s very funny, and funny discourses on punctuation are just a perfect recipe for conjuring memories of Gram. She was the very best.

Infinite Jest - David Foster Wallace: I have been a DFW fan for years and was always too intimidated to pick up this 1100(ish)-page monster. I have read books about the writing of this book, is how ridiculous things got. For about a year, I reserved this July to be the month in which I finally tackled the beast, and IT HAPPENED. And after all that buildup, mostly what I have to say is that this is genuinely one of the best books I’ve ever read. Brilliant on so many levels. Innovative, hilarious, linguistically gorgeous, full of genius ideas, with a compelling narrative, fascinating characters, and intense commentary on our society. I can’t think of a better contemporary novel that I’ve read. It is incredibly DENSE. My brain is exhausted. But my primary feeling after finishing was that I can’t wait until I’ve recovered enough to read it again :).

Passionate Marriage - David Schnarch: THIS BOOK. AHHHHHHHHH. Ok, I have to disclaim that while I have come to believe this book holds the answer to all life’s problems, it is largely about sex. Intimacy. Sex and intimacy, which are not synonyms, you know. I mean, it’s not, like, titillating or anything, but it’s very frank, and I just feel like I need to put that here so if you read it on my recommendation you won’t be shocked or anything. BUT. But but but. If you are a person and you are married, you should absolutely read this. David started reading it last summer and couldn’t stop talking about it; I started it probably a full year ago and obviously just finished it. It required some major digestion of themes. It has been totally mind-blowing. I’ve been trying to figure out how to boil it down into a major concept that I could touch on here; basically the crux is that true intimacy requires that its participants be differentiated from one another, a term Schnarch goes into a lot of detail on, but I guess I’d best describe it as emotional independence and balance. The in’s and out’s of that are fascinating and important and have changed the way I approach every relationship in my life. Maybe it just really struck David and I for some reason, and it won’t carry the same punch for you. But read it just in case, and then call me so we can talk about it, and also know that I was like a red-faced 12-year-old when reading all the candid sex stuff. I’m sure your response will be much more mature. (Also, although its ideas carry over into all kinds of relationships, I don’t think it would be super helpful for the non-married crowd [even a sexually active non-married crowd], because a lot of the issues surrounding intimacy and personhood really only seem to crop up in that particular sort of union and I don’t think it would have been as meaningful if I’d read it before I got married, or even soon after. To my sister-in-law who is getting married this summer, I recommended Brene Brown’s “Daring Greatly”, because the major idea behind all of this is that deep, selfless love requires vulnerability and openness on a level that must be consciously practiced and not shied away from, and I think Brown’s work [all of it, really] is just awesome for delving into those concepts.)