Cause of Death: Curiosity

I'm concerned about the welfare of my children.

Yesterday, I found Kate blowing her hair dry while sitting in a full bathtub.

Today, I got home from a run to find Jared hanging from the neighbor's swing-set with a rope around his neck.

On both occasions, I was not technically responsible for the kids. Their parents were home. Both parents, actually. Still.

Instances of child suicide are quite rare in this region of the country. Actually, among 6- and 3-year-olds, they are basically unheard of. I'm fairly certain the kids aren't manic depressive. Dramatic, yes. Insane, no.

I am daily questioning my aspirations to motherhood. Strange and inexplicable courses of events seem to be attracted to me, and I'm hesitant to drag innocent children into this whirlwind of madness.

Were I banking on the Nine Lives philosophy, I could not sustain much hope for my own continued livelihood, as I would have used up all 9 on freak accidents (slipping and hanging by a clump of grass over the caldera of an active volcano), untimely syncope (passing out on hard surfaces or in strange countries), and violent reactions to common household products. Having never been in a serious car accident and not prone to episodes of binge drinking or thoughts of suicide, I have handily avoided the NORMAL most common causes of death among kids my age. Truthfully, I'm planning on handily escaping the clutches of the Grim Reaper for a long time. I'm on the hundred-year plan.

But my no-dying resolve doesn't really do much to protect the kids from death by their own hands (and parental negligence.) Is this kind of stuff normal with kids? Because as much as I felt like a superhero swiping the blowdryer from Kate's hands and saving Jared from the noose, I'd really rather avoid it all.

By the way, both kids are fine. Kate got a lesson in electrical currents and Jared escaped with a temporarily blue face and a nasty rope burn on his neck. Poor kid also broke his toe last night. Proper course of action for a broken baby toe? I have no idea. I gave him an Aspirin and put him back in bed.